


A Great Crew

by newdog14



Series: A Great Life [2]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Companion Piece, Gen, Gravity falls pirate au, Human Bill Cipher, There could be some fighting in this, but you should, drinking will also probably be a thing, nothing graphic though, you don't need to read the rest of the series for this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2016-03-03
Packaged: 2018-05-18 18:43:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5939164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/newdog14/pseuds/newdog14
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bill Cipher is the most feared captain to ever set sail, the Demon of the Caribbean. This is the story of how he got there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tad Strange

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I posted this because I'm excited that I finished outlining A Great Rescue, so I thought I'd celebrate by posting the first chapter of this thing! This was supposed to just be intros for the crew, but it kinda morphed into how Bill became a pirate and the chapters flow more like a full story than just one-shots. You don't need any background knowledge for this to make sense, if anything this IS the background knowledge. I should also mention that there won't be an update schedule for this, but there won't be any sort of cliff-hangers or unanswered questions at the ends of the chapters. 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy it!

Bill had liked Tad Strange since the moment they’d met at Port Royal, which was great for both of them, since they were sharing a cell there. They were currently sentenced to hang for the crime of consorting with pirates, and if not for the hurricane that’d destroyed half the town the previous day they would have been hung that very morning.

“We’ll be getting out of here any day now Tad,” Bill said, grinning as he paced across the cell.

“What makes you say that?” Tad asked, looking nothing less than miserable, “We’re locked in a cell, our execution is in three days’ time, and even if we managed to escape the navy we’ve no ship to take us out of Port Royal.”

“All true, but you forget the storm!” Bill said, “Something’s looking out for us, something powerful. Otherwise we’d already be dead.”

Tad gave him a sad smile, “I’m afraid you’ve gone mad Cipher.”

“I’ve _always_ been mad,” he retorted, “And I know you don’t believe in the supernatural, but surely you believe in _me_?”

“I believe that you’re a seventeen year old boy who’d grasping at straws because he can’t come to grips with his own mortality,” Tad said, leaning against the back wall and closing his eyes, “Now I’m going to take a nap, try not to wear a hole in the floor with all that pacing, alright?”

Bill glared at the older boy, but said nothing as he drifted to sleep. Instead he focused on plotting their escape, because they _would_ be escaping, he just had to figure out how. He moved to the door, glancing around the prison for the hundredth time since being trapped there.

There were ten cells total, and all but four were currently occupied. Bill hadn’t seen much of the other prisoners, but he could hear them shouting at the soldiers whenever someone new was brought in, and he figured there must have been at least twenty. There were no guards on this level, but since the prison was in the basement of a navy fort there didn’t really need to be. He couldn’t see them from the cell, but he knew that the keys were hung on a hook at the base of the stairs, not that any prisoner could get to them.

Bill sighed and rested his head upon the bars, he had no idea how to get out of this place. As far as he could tell the only way out was to be _let_ out, and when that happened…

He hit the door with as much force as he could, and the iron bars jolted a bit, but they held firm as ever. Bill sunk to the ground, glaring at wall. He wasn’t ready to die, he’d barely had the chance to live! He had so many plans too, plans to get a ship and a crew and rule the seas. He could be the most feared man to ever set sail, if only he could get out of this damn cell.

“Hey Tad?” he asked, and Tad grunted in response, “When we get out of here, I’m going to get a ship and sail to Tortuga to find a crew. The next time you hear my name, I’ll be the most feared captain in the world.”

“Oh yeah?” Tad asked, opening his eyes and giving a look of skepticism, “And what makes you think you can captain a pirate crew? Nobody’s going to follow a kid.”

Bill smirked at him, “I wouldn’t say nobody. I just need a few people to start out, then I can start building a reputation. I’ve been planning this out for a while now actually.”

“Well I wish you luck Bill,” Tad said, “And I hope that whoever kills you in Tortuga has the decency to make it a quick death.”

Bill ignored him, “In fact the only thing I _don’t_ have planned out is my first mate. Though I had been hoping _you_ might be interested in taking the job.”

Tad laughed, “Me? Why would you want me?”

“Because I trust you Tad,” he gave Tad the most sincere look he could manage, “And I think you’ve got enough brains for the job.”

Tad looked thoughtful for a moment, “Ah, what the Hell. Bill, if we get out of this mess, I’ll go with you to Tortuga and be your first mate.”

He held out his hand and the two shook on it, “Glad to have you aboard,” Bill grinned at him, and for the first time since they’d been locked up Tad returned it with a grin of his own.

The two sat in comfortable silence, and after a while Bill began to suspect that Tad had fallen asleep. Bill got up and looked through the window at the top of their cell, the sun had gone down hours ago but Bill could see the lights of the town. He could even hear a bit of music, though it was too faint for him to recognize the tune.

Bill sighed and returned to his pacing, he needed an escape plan. There was no way to bust through the door, it was too strong. There might be a way to pick the lock, but they didn’t have anything to use but the clothes on their backs and some damp straw. He’d already tried to bribe the guards, but the only response they gave was silence, and he didn’t see enough of them to properly manipulate them anyway.

He was pulled out of his thoughts by the sound of a door opening, and then footsteps on the stairs. Bill frowned, no one ever came down this late at night. He kicked Tad awake, then gestured for silence. Tad glared at him, but then his eyes went wide as he heard the footsteps too. There was a jingling, which Bill figured was the person picking up the key ring, and then they started walking again.

Bill tensed as the footsteps came closer, trying to be prepared for anything. However when a girl about their age stopped in front of their door with a manic grin on her face he could barely contain his confusion.

“Emily?” Tad gasped, “What are you doing here?”

Bill gave him a confused look, which Tad ignored as he went to hold her hand through the bars.

“Oh Tad, I just couldn’t stand the thought of losing you!” she said, her eyes a bit misty as she fumbled with the keys, “So I baked a sleeping solution into some sticky buns and gave them to the guards. I don’t know how long they’ll be out though, so we need to hurry.”

Emily finally got the door open, and Bill followed Tad out. Emily gave him a suspicious look, and Bill smiled at her, “I’m Bill Cipher. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you Miss Emily, Tad’s told me so much about you.”

Tad shot daggers at him over her shoulder, but Emily seemed elated by the lie. In truth Tad hadn’t so much as hinted at having a girl waiting for him outside, but what Emily didn’t know wouldn’t hurt them.

“Emily, I’m so happy to see you again,” Tad said, “But you know I won’t be able to stay in Port Royal after this, don’t you?”

“Yes, I know Tad,” she said sadly, “But you’ll be able to come back one day, won’t you? And we can be together?”

“Possibly,” Tad seemed reluctant to make any promises, “It depends on how much time the British spend looking for us.”

“I understand,” she said solemnly. The trio made their way out of the prison, past the sleeping forms of many guards, then out of the fort entirely, “I think I found a ship to get you out of here.”

“Really?” Bill asked incredulously, “Who would agree to transport escaped convicts?”

Emily laughed a bit, “No one, I’m sure. You’ll have to sail it just the two of you, but it should be ready to leave, or close enough. The sailors were in the tavern complaining about all the work they had to do getting her ready to make way, even though they weren’t leaving until tomorrow. But I’m fairly certain the whole crew was there, and it’s still much too early for them to be leaving the tavern, so no one should give you trouble.”

“So we’re stealing a ship then?” Tad said, he didn’t seem thrilled about the idea.

“It’s a perfect plan if you ask me,” Bill said, “Especially since we needed a ship anyway. Does it have a name, Miss Emily?”

“Yes,” she said as she led them down the docks, “It’s a merchant vessel called _Mentis_.”

She stopped in front of a beautiful ship, and Bill gasped in awe at the sight. It was beautifully crafted and well looked after, with the name of the ship written in gold. He raced up the gang plank, the deck was just as beautiful as he expected. He made his way to the steering wheel, running his hands along the wood. He finally had a ship of his own. He was finally a true captain.

Tad joined him on board after a few minutes, “We need to go, before she gets the idea of trying to come with us.”

Bill nodded, and together they raised the gangplank, “Who was she anyway? You never mentioned having a bonnie lass.”

Tad made a disgusted face, and Bill grinned at him, “I don’t. You know the bakery next to the tavern? She’s the baker’s daughter, and I really love their bread. I’ve talked to her a few times, and I got really drunk one night and kissed her. Next thing I know, she’s going on about getting married and having kids,” Tad made another face, “Getting arrested was almost a relief, since I didn’t have to deal with her anymore.”

“Gosh Tad, that’s cruel,” Bill said with a grin, “She’s just a young girl, dreaming of having a Bread Husband.”

Tad blanched as they moved to raise the starboard anchor, “Please don’t ever say that again.”

“Hmmm I dunno, I think it’s a pretty good nickname for you,” Bill grinned devilishly as Tad groaned.

“That is absolutely the worst nick name I have ever heard,” Bill laughed again as they raised the port anchor.

“Too bad!” Bill said, “Now then, we need to plot a course for Tortuga and check the ship for stowaways.”

Tad rolled his eyes, “We can do whatever you want, so long as we don’t stay here.”

Bill grinned at him and made his way to the wheel, this was the start of something big, he could feel it. One day they’d be looking back and laughing about this encounter, and people would be awestruck at how far they’d come.


	2. Veronica Abbot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In honor of the show ending, I thought I'd post something new. I should also warn you, depending on how traumatizing the finale is, I may not be able to write for awhile. Hopefully it's not that bad though, because if it is my roommate is going to throw hella shade at me for crying over cartoon characters. We'll see.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who reads this or interacts with it! ya'll rock! And I'm slowly chipping away at A Great Rescue, don't worry. :)

Tortuga was the greatest town in the world as far as Bill was concerned. It was absolutely lawless, and it was filled to the brim with poor souls who were absolutely desperate for adventure. There was a tavern of every corner in Tortuga, and a brothel sat next to them all. It was also the best place in the world to find a pirate crew, which he was in desperate need of. _Mentis_ was a beautiful ship, but running it with only Tad to help him was a daunting task.

Bill knew they needed more people, and it was for this reason that he and Tad were currently sitting at a table in a dingy little building called The North West Tavern.

“This place is disgusting,” Tad said, eyeing the clientele warily, “How can you stand to be in here?”

“If you don’t like it you’re free to go back to the ship,” Bill said, “I’m a people person, I can handle this on my own.”

Tad chewed his lip for a minute, “Okay. Do me a favor and come back soon though? I don’t care how good you are at swordplay, you’re obnoxious and someone’s gonna try and kill you eventually.”

Bill laughed, “Just go watch the ship, Bread Husband. I’ll be fine.”

Tad frowned and shook his head, but he didn’t say anything else as he walked out of the tavern. Bill scanned the crowds, looking for promising candidates. His original plan was just to announce that he was looking for a crew and to see if anyone stepped forward, but Tad had declared that to be “dangerous and liable to get them both killed.” So Bill agreed to approach people one on one.

It quickly became apparent that he wasn’t the only captain looking for a crew, though the other two seemed a bit pickier than he was. That was fine with him though, because every man they turned away was someone else he could approach. Though some he wasn’t sure he wanted to, as they seemed like they may hurt his cause more than help it.

“For God’s sake woman, give it up!” one of the captains yelled. Standing in front of him was small woman with short black hair and large ears. She couldn’t have been much older than Bill, but she didn’t seem even remotely intimidated by the man’s yelling, “I don’t care what you say you’re capable of, you’re a woman. And no captain with any sense would take a woman on his crew!”

“It’s just bad luck,” the other chimed in, though he gave her a look of pity as well. She glowered at him, and the look vanished.

“I have more skills than any man on either of your ships,” she ground out, “And I don’t see why that bullshit superstition should be keeping me off the waters.”

“It ain’t bullshit,” said the first captain, “And I ain’t gonna risk the lives of my crew because some tavern wench claims she can sail. Now get out of my sight!”

She turned on her heel and made her way out of the tavern, Bill downed his drink and tossed a few coins to the bartender. Then he left the bar and went after the woman. If she was as good as she said she was he _definitely_ wanted her, superstitions be damned.

“Excuse me, Miss!” he said, and she turned to him with rage.

“What the bloody hell do you want boy?” she snarled, and Bill raised his hands in a nonthreatening gesture.

“Well I couldn’t help but overhear that you were looking to join a crew,” he said.

Her anger morphed into suspicion, and she studied him carefully, “What’s it to ya?”

“My name is Captain Bill Cipher,” he grinned at her surprise, “And I was hoping to discuss having you join _my_ crew.”

“Aren’t you a little young to be a captain?” she asked, she seemed skeptical, but she was definitely interested.

“I think you’ll find that I make a wonderful captain,” Bill said, “But if you’d like, we can always discuss this back on my ship. I’m sure my first mate would want to meet you anyway, Miss..?”

“Abbot,” she said, “Veronica Abbot.”

He grinned and led the way back to _Mentis_.

Veronica was just as impressed by _Mentis_ as Bill had expected her to be, though she seemed a little unnerved by the lack of crew, “Where is everyone? Surely you don’t expect me to believe you sailed this ship to Tortuga all by yourself.”

“Of course not!” he said, “Tad! Come meet Miss Abbot!”

There was a thump behind them, and Bill turned to see Tad leaning against the mast, “Bill, you are aware that a crew is generally made up of more than three people, right?”

Bill rolled his eyes, “Yes, I’m aware. But Miss Abbot claims to be highly skilled, so I’m working extra hard to convince her to join us.”

“Oh is she?” Tad asked, studying the woman with interest, “What at?”

“Swordplay, working the rigging, I can steer as well,” she began.

“All to be expected of someone looking to join a pirate crew,” Tad interrupted, “But what makes you special?”

She smirked at him, “I’m also an expert at operating any and all kinds of cannons, guns, and other explosive weaponry.”

Tad raised an eye brow, “Any reason why?”

“I like to watch things burn,” she shrugged, “Knowledge like that helps.”

Bill grinned triumphantly, “See? She’s someone we want aboard.”

Tad raised an eyebrow at him, “Not that I put any stock in it, but aren’t you worried having a woman aboard will bring bad luck? You seem to buy into every other superstition under the sun.”

“Oh I believe it,” Bill said, “But I don’t think she’ll bring bad luck to _us_. She’ll bring it to our enemies!”

Veronica was studying them both, and she seemed to be debating with herself. However she quickly made her decision, and she held out her hand to Bill, “Alright Captain, I’ll serve with you. Can’t be any worse than serving in a tavern.”

Bill smiled at her as he shook her hand, “Brilliant! I’m glad to have you aboard.”

Tad shook her hand next, and while he was trying to keep up his uncaring façade, Bill could tell he was just as pleased, “So now we have a pyromaniac on board our wooden ship, what could possibly go wrong?”

“That’s the spirit Tad!” Bill ignored the sarcasm as he clapped a hand on the other man’s shoulder, “We’ll be the most feared band of pirates to ever sail the seas, and anyone who dares cross us will find their ship has been set ablaze by the fearsome Veronica Abbot!”

Veronica laughed a bit, “I’m afraid my name isn’t very intimidating Captain.”

Bill brought a hand to his chin, “I suppose it isn’t. We’ll have to change it then, won’t we?”

Veronica raised an eyebrow at him, and Tad let out a groan, “Why do you feel the need to give everyone you come in contact with a nickname?”

Bill laughed, and then inspiration struck him, “Pyronica!”

Her eyes lit up and she hummed appreciatively, “Oh I like that a lot. Much scarier.”

Tad looked surprised, as if he’d been expecting something more ridiculous. Bill just grinned, “Well then, welcome to the crew of _Mentis_ Pyronica!”


	3. George Ayers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so news on A Great Rescue! My progress is slow, because I've hit a bit of writer's block. I have it all planned, but actually writing it all out is proving to be challenging. Hopefully once I get out of the exposition though it'll clear up though.
> 
> Also! I made a writing blog, so if you want to be kept up on updates, ask questions, know what other projects I'm working on, or guilt me into writing, now you can! https://newdog14writes.tumblr.com/ 
> 
> In the mean time, I hope you guys enjoy this, and thank you all very much for supporting this little story. It's really helping me figure out these characters, Bill in particular.

It was three days before they had enough crew members to set sail again, though Bill was far from happy with most of them. However he lacked that reputation needed to draw people to him, so he couldn’t be too picky.

He was sitting at the desk in his newly claimed office, trying to sort through the previous captain’s inventory records. After how meticulous the man was in keeping up the ship’s appearance, Bill was truly surprised by the shoddy record keeping. He frowned at the papers in front of him, he’d never realized just how much paperwork came with captaining a ship. There was inventory, navigation, payroll, and the captain’s log. It’d be easier if he could delegate some of it, but the only people on the ship who he _really_ trusted were Tad and Pyronica, and they had other jobs to do.

He sighed as he flipped through the papers again, it would probably just be easier to go down to the hold and catalogue everything himself; at least then the accuracy of it all would be guaranteed.

Bill grabbed some parchment, a quill, and an ink pot before making his way out of his office and down into the bowels of the ship. Bill didn’t much care for being this far below, it was dark and smelly and he could hear rats scurrying around, though they never strayed into the light. But inventory had to be done, and delegating wasn’t an option, so down he went.

He scanned the crates and barrels for markings, they were each marked with the insignia of a trade company, though Bill didn’t recognize it. However there was no indication of their contents, which meant he was going to have to crack them all open. He sighed as he unsheathed his sword, then slid it under the lid of one of the crates. But before he could pry it open, he felt the cold barrel of a pistol press against his head.

“The captain doesn’t take kindly to thieves,” the voice was deep and gravelly, and he didn’t recognize it. However he decided to play along, at least until the gun wasn’t pointed at him.

“I’m not a thief,” he said, “I’m taking inventory, on the captain’s orders too. Who are you?”

“I don’t recognize you,” he said, “You sign on in Port Royal?”

“You could say that,” Bill said, “I don’t suppose you’d be willing to put down that pistol?”

The man snorted at him, “No, because you’re lying. Taking inventory is my job, and we haven’t gotten anything new recently.”

“Well the paper records are a mess, and it all needs to be redone,” Bill said, “So I came down to do it.”

“Captain Renzobbi’s never had trouble with the way I take inventory before,” the man said.

“Well Renzobbi ain’t the captain anymore,” Bill said, and the man finally seemed to falter, pulling the gun away just enough for Bill to make his move. He pulled his sword out of the crate and turned to face the man in one swift motion, then knocked the pistol to the ground before bringing the point of his sword up to the man’s neck, “The name’s Bill Cipher, and I took control this ship in Port Royal. That makes _you_ a stowaway.”

Several emotions passed over his face, first shock, then fear, then finally anger, “Bobby Renzobbi would _never_ have sold _Mentis_.”

“And he didn’t,” Bill said, pressing his sword closer to the man’s neck with a smirk, “But that didn’t stop me from taking her.”

Realization passed across his face, then fear, “You’re a pirate.”

Bill grinned at him, “Naturally.”

The man was very clearly terrified as he stared Bill down, but he didn’t shake or beg; and when Bill pressed the tip of his sword into his neck until it drew blood, the man didn’t even flinch, “If you’re going to kill me, just get it over with.”

“Those are some bold words,” Bill said, studying the man before him carefully. He was thin, but he definitely had some muscle, and his entire body seemed to be covered in tattoos. Bill was particularly intrigued by the large 8-Ball on his forearm, “What’s your name sailor?”

“George Ayers,” he replied, “Why do you care?”

Bill hummed for a moment, “Because you’re terrified of me, but you’re holding your ground anyway. Not many people have that kind of determination Ayers.”

He frowned at him, “So?”

“So I admire it,” Bill said, “And I could use someone like you.”

George looked unsure for a moment, as if he understood the words but couldn’t believe their meaning, “Are you asking me to join your crew?”

“Yep!” Bill grinned at his disbelief.

“And you’re making this offer with a sword to my throat?” he asked.

“Well of course! If you refuse I’ll have to kill you after all,” he said, trying to hold back a laugh at the way George’s eyes widened, “So what do you say Ayers, wanna join my merry band of murderous misfits?”

“You’re not really giving me much of a choice here,” he said, looking resigned. Bill couldn’t help but chuckle at that.

“There’s always a choice,” Bill said, “The options just aren’t always that great.”

“Do all of your crew members get threatened into joining you?” He asked incredulously.

“Nope! Just you,” Bill answered, “Does that mean you’ll accept me as your captain?”

He sighed, “No. I’ve got family back in England, if they get word that I’m sailing under the Jolly Roger they’ll lose everything. I won’t do that to them, so I’m afraid you’ll have to kill me.”

Bill frowned, that wasn’t the answer he’d been hoping for, but he also couldn’t fault the reasoning. George Ayers could never join a pirate crew. That thought gave him an idea though, and his frown quickly faded into a smirk, “Actually, I only have to kill George Ayers.”

Ayers gave him a confused look, “How is that any different from what I said?”

“It’s different because you’re operating under the assumption that _you_ have to be George Ayers,” Bill said. Realization passed across his face, and Bill’s smirk grew a bit wider.

“And who would you suggest I be instead?” Ayers asked.                                     

Bill hummed thoughtfully, “8-Ball.”

He raised an eyebrow in response, “You know that’s not really a name right?”

“I know,” Bill said, a sadistic smile sliding onto his face, “But I’m building an image.”

“Of what? Complete insanity?” Bill couldn’t help but laugh at the look on his face.

“Well of course!” he said, “What could possibly be more terrifying?”

He looked thoughtful for a moment, “I suppose that’s true.”

“So what do you say?” Bill asked.

“Alright Captain Cipher, I’ll serve under you,” 8-Ball said.

Bill grinned and pulled the sword away, “Wonderful! Your first assignment is to show me how to make sense of your inventory system.”

He rolled his eyes, “It’s just written in code. Renzobbi was always a bit paranoid. But I can have it decoded for you by the end of the day.”

“No,” Bill said, “Teach me to read it.”

“Why?” 8-Ball asked, following Bill as the captain made his way out of the hold.

“Because it’s a good idea, keeping your records in code,” Bill said, “That way no one will know if you’ve got something worth stealing.”

8-Ball let out an exasperated sigh, “You sure that insanity thing is just an image?”

Bill grinned like a shark and winked at him, then turned and made his way up the ladder. He could hear 8-Ball grumbling something unintelligible behind him, and he couldn’t help but laugh. Tad would probably yell at him for inviting a stowaway to join the crew, but Bill had a good feeling about 8-Ball. He’d always been good at reading people, always knew what to say to them and how it needed to be said. It was nice to know that that skill was good for more than just tricking people into giving him food.


End file.
